Sarah, 52, and Patrick, 36, have been dating for 11 months. Here’s what Sarah has to say about her online dating experience and the encounter with the love of her life.
I suffered a horribly traumatic and prolonged divorce from my husband in my mid forties and honestly thought I would never love again! I finally succumbed to online dating just before the Big Five — oh, after my two older kids insisted I put myself back there and give love a second chance.
My initial experience on the adult dating site was depressing, truth be told. Men my age were interested in young women ten years (or more!), And the only attention I got was from men ten years older than me. Not that I’m my age, but the older gentlemen who chased after me just weren’t my cup of tea, unfortunately.
Despite this, I went on a number of dates, only to find that we had nothing in common. Most of all, I felt like I had a new contract in life and I want adventure in my life! The older men who wanted to seduce me wanted a quiet retired friend to settle with in their nest. not me; I spent most of my adult life at home, raising the kids, taking care of my ex-husband, I was the excellent housewife. Now it’s my time to shine.
A friend suggested I broaden my horizons and consider dating a younger man. My first reaction was utter disgust. My husband cheated on me for years with a younger woman, and I was offended that a friend of mine would even consider mentioning such a subject. I also had a disgusting stereotype in my head of the ‘cougar’ praying for innocent and innocent boys. I was terrified!
A few more weeks passed, and I continued to go on disappointing and fruitless dates. It was only when I bought a bottle of wine on my way home from a particularly boring date to numb the pain that I saw an article in front of one of the women’s magazines at the counter about celebrities who went out with younger men. Curiosity overcame me, and I spent the rest of the evening researching online about women dating younger men; What it was about, pros, cons – is it morally okay?
I was shocked when I realized that a mature woman dating younger men is a current ‘trend’ and the list of benefits sounded – honestly – very attractive! So in my nonsense state, I went into my online dating account and changed my age preferences. I was shocked that after only 30 minutes, I already had a wink from a man in his twenties !! I was confused at first; Was that a joke? Why would a twenty-something-year-old be interested in me? With alcohol as a boost to my self-confidence, we wrote back and forth that night and I learned that he was a very successful and self-confident young man, who preferred older women because they were independent and simpler than women his age.
He did not want the pressure of marriage or babies he gets from the young women he dated. The conversation we had that night really opened my eyes to the truth behind men dating older women and vice versa; It seemed that both parties could benefit from the arrangement.
Although he looked adorable, I had to refuse a date with him because he was the same age as my daughter, and I just could not figure it out! But he did convince me that I should be open to possibilities … and then I met Patrick.
I saw Patrick’s dating profile while browsing the online dating site and was immediately drawn to it. His profile picture was just adorable; He had the best eyes and a real smile. I read his profile over and over again – we had so much in common, from music to food lovers, spirituality and a passion for hiking. But he was 35, never married and had no children. I was worried that maybe one day he would want kids and I could not give it to him.
It may seem silly to some of the people I had already considered such serious matters even before I talked to him, but being a mature woman, I knew exactly what I wanted; Life partner. I did not want to waste my time or anyone else’s time in a relationship that is not going anywhere. So I tried to get it out of my head and kept going out with the other young men who were approaching me now.
Although I had nice dates with some younger men, I just could not forget Patrick’s profile, so two months after I originally saw him I decided to contact him. I was surprised at how quickly and enthusiastically he responded. We immediately pressed and talked back and forth through emails and text messages for three days before I suggested we go on a date. He was stunned by how confident I was (and then told me how attractive he found it!) And asked me to go see a local band play with him in the park this weekend.
Our first date was magical. It came with a picnic basket full of all the delicious homemade goodies – I could not believe the effort he put in! He told me he wanted to impress me, I told him it worked! We were very open with each other from the beginning, and I had no fear of talking to him about my children’s concerns, as I wanted to lay out our cards from the beginning. Luckily, Patrick has never been interested in having children and instead wants to focus on enjoying every moment of his life to the fullest. Luckily, that includes me now in his adventurous plans.
There may be an age gap of sixteen years, and once I may have turned my nose up in the pits, but now I know age is just a number. Patrick makes me feel young and I have never had as much energy and lust for life as I have now. I am so grateful to my friend who opened my world to new possibilities and thinking outside the box. Patrick and I are celebrating our anniversary next month on our way to Paris for a romantic weekend getaway; We could not have been happier.
Choosing the Young Man – The Bottom Line
If you want a younger man, you can get one. All you have to do is update your dating preferences and they will reach you.
Whether choosing a younger man is a good idea depends on what you want out of your relationship. You may only be interested in sex. You may want to find love. Generally, young men tend to be less dedicated than older men.
Nothing stops you from trying. If you update your age preferences on your dating profile, you can get attention within hours.
There are a lot of younger men who want to date an older woman. This is usually because older women are more experienced in bed.
Another reason young men want older women is that they want stability. Young women tend to have less stability in their lives. As an older woman or as an older man, you can use this to your advantage to find a younger man.
Most importantly, remember to have fun when dating a younger man. Life is there to live them. Do not be afraid to try new things and enjoy.