I work with men in love with women they really don’t fit in with, unhappy men because they are unable to see their relationship as it is, and men who lose amazing experiences because they are too scared. Be vulnerable. Do not get me wrong, I’m not a judge, dating is hard. It’s confusing and a lot of times it sucks – but learning when to walk away and how to identify when you hit gold is pretty important. Wouldn’t it be easier if you had a guide to help you navigate the aspects of dating connectivity? Well, belt, butter – because I’ve just put on my gandalf beard and we’m about to embark on an epic fucking adventure.
There are several types of connection. Depending on what type of relationship you are looking for, some are more important than others. Note that if you are looking for a life partner, they are all essential components of a healthy and sustainable relationship.
attraction: I went out with a handsome man who could fuck like a horse on steroids. I daydreamed about his cock all day, but talking to him was a kind of torture. His opinions were silly, he made strange noises in his nose when he ate, and he thought the polar bears were native to South Korea. After being miserable for a few weeks, I took one last longing look at his body and ended the relationship.
We all know what an attraction is, right? You see a person, you are really bitter looking, and develop a strong desire to lick every inch of his body. Attraction is super important. This is what starts 99% of relationships, especially in dating apps. If you are only interested in connection, attraction is all you need. If you’re looking for more than a connection, but, The attraction is just the jumping off point. Even casual dating or FWB need more going on to survive. Stop trying to push a round peg into a square hole, you can not fool yourself into liking it. The longer you stay, the more you are going to make her and herself miserable. You both deserve to be with someone you’re really interested in.
chemistry: I was with a guy I went crazy for, about a year. The attraction was there, and we had amazing chemistry. we have received Each other, you know? We had balance, we played each other, simple slave…. until we did. We did not want the same things out of a relationship, we did not want the same things out of life. We had amazing chemistry, but when it came to long-term things, we turned in two different directions. The parting was long, painful and bitter. Much of this pain could have been avoided if we had understood the difference between being crazy about each other and wanting to share a life together. We both knew we were not suitable, but like the oil light in my car, we turned our eyes away every time the warning lights started flashing. Our relationship is dead … and so is my car, like 3 months later. One attempt, two lessons;)
This chemistry is excellent. It’s a dopamine injection to the chest. It feels like an orgasm on a stunning mountain top, laid out in a circle of varied pastries and pastas. Oh, and Morgan Freeman is there, just like he’s telling the whole thing. If you’re looking for a casual date, or FWB, attraction and chemistry are all you need – but if you’re looking for something sustainable, chemistry will only last until you have your first argument or conversation about the future. Sometimes chemistry feels so good that it deceives you into thinking it’s compatibility. Do not fall for it, open a small list of things you need to be happy in a relationship – and do not change it for anyone. If you want kids and she does not, all the chemistry in the world will not make it work. Start a dialogue about what you are looking for once you start grasping emotions, it will save you both a lot of pain and remorse.
shared: So I went out with this guy who was actually my male version. We both loved video games, D&D, reading and pasta. Guess what we did, like 100% of the time? We played video games, D&D, read and ate pasta. We were both extroverted introverts who needed a little push to get out of the house, we were both perfectionists, a little anxious, a lot of dramatic, and we had the exact same taste in everything. It was pretty cool to go out with a clone, for a while. He fucked the way I liked to fuck … but not really the way I liked to fuck me- know what I mean? We didn’t really practice that much, because we collided with each other. We froze, we stopped growing as people. We had a common tone, but we were not really fit.
Meeting someone you have a lot in common with is great, but common ≠ Compatibility. Sometimes yes, and a little common is important in any relationship, but what separates a good and amazing relationship is growth. Relationships need a healthy balance. Your Yang Liang. Do not let yourself dive into comfortable monotony. Great things exist outside the comfort zones. Get yourself out of your own and maybe meet someone amazing.
compatibility: So I’m with this guy … This guy. OMG this guy. I love you fuck Out of this man. Is my happy place, my safe space, my partner. I want to drink his semen until I sweat semen. I want to make him soup when he’s sick, clean his vomit and rub his back until he falls asleep. I want to laugh at him while he tries to learn to play video games, get dressed for his elaborate work dinner and try not to roll my eyes while fancy people get excited about the crunchiness of some $ 300 wine that tasted like grapes and vinegar, then go home to cuddle in bed while he updates on episodes worth 5 years Of a critical role. I want to watch hours of epidemic documentaries as we quarrel about who we’ll take with us when we finally put ourselves in quarantine against the zombie apocalypse, and I want to cuddle into him while he talks about me when I end up scaring myself. He’s my best friend and my biggest cheerleader. we Match together. We complement each other. We balance each other. Sometimes he acts like a toddler on a crack, bouncing without direction, and I give him focus. Sometimes I am dramatic and sensitive and it calms my anxiety. Sometimes I wake him up in the middle of the night to make him promise to stay away from elephants because I dreamed he was trampled, and he would wake up enough to swear he hates safari … he has the patience of a holy fucking. When I hear his voice … Oh man, when I hear his voice, my heart slows to adjust his voice. He centralizes me, and he pushes me to keep working on learning how to concentrate myself. We take care of each other, we nurture each other and remind each other not to lose our individuality. We are diligent in keeping our relationship healthy because we want it to last a really long time.
Hard to find compatibility, it really is really he- But if I stayed in any of my other relationships because I was comfortable, lonely or afraid of the unknown, I would never find my person… and if you’m stuck in a relationship that you know is not working, or that you’re too scared to step out of your comfort zone, you may never find yours either. You deserve to find your person, or casual sex, or FWB, or whatever it’s you are looking for. Respect yourself enough to stay away from an inadequate relationship, and respect it enough not to stay when you should not.
If you are ready to find your person and you are not sure where to start, call me and I will do everything I can to help you. Read my testimonials, check out my services, or get a gift card for a friend.