5 Ways to Overcome Body Shame – Last First Date

Posted by sandy weiner in self esteem in dating, single over age 40 | 0 comments

Does body shame prevent you from dating or dating a new partner? In this video you will learn 5 ways to overcome shame in the body.

So many people have shame on the body, especially when it comes to being naked in front of a partner. With all the toxic messages in our culture that being thin is ideal for women, it’s hard not to be ashamed of the perceived flaws of your body. Some of us get these shaming messages that we eat too much and become too plump as early as age five. And those outer voices become inner voices, no matter what we look like.

These voices sound like, ‘I hate my body, I need to lose 20 pounds before I go out on a date, I need to bounce my body into shape, I need to change my body to feel attractive’. And that leads to a spiral of self-loathing that keeps us stuck and single.

Men and women alike are sensitive to body clothing. But it is never too late to start overcoming the shame on your body and start acting towards receiving the body.

Here are 5 ways to overcome shame in the body.

  1. Identify the sounds in your head. Next time you start criticizing yourself, stop and ask yourself where it came from. Whose voice are you hearing? It could be someone from your life, like a parent or a romantic partner, or it could be how you interpreted someone’s words or how he looked at you. When you recognize the source of the sounds in your head, you can stop giving it power.
  2. Practice self-compassion. Replace your voice of shame with a voice of compassion. What good words can you say to yourself about your body? Find the parts you do like, and give those parts some love. Also, the next time you say bad things about your thighs, chin, abdomen, arms or legs, ask yourself, “Would I ever say that to a friend?” Would you ever approach another person and tell them that their stomach is loose? Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend, and you will be amazed at how mean you are to yourself.
  3. Create a thank you list for your body. Write down everything you can think of that your body does for you, and thank your body. Write down everything, from breathing, walking, lifting and blinking to a smile and a hug. Whenever a negative thought comes to your body, replace it with something from your list of gratitude. Over time, this can drastically change your relationship with your body.
  4. Cancel, cancel. Fight body shaming by saying ‘Cancel, cancel’ to yourself whenever those voices come up. If, for example, you stand in front of a mirror and suck your stomach and think how no man would want to see you naked, interrupt that thought with ‘Cancel, cancel’. This is another effective way to stop shaming.
  5. Buy clothes that fit. Many people who change weight keep in wardrobes of many sizes, hoping for the day when they will fit back into their little clothes. It can make them feel bad about the body they have now. Instead, donate the clothes that do not fit, and buy clothes that flatter the body you have now. You will feel much better, and you will live in the present.

When you begin to apply these steps, you will eventually go from shame in body to acceptance in body. And when it comes to dating, you might be surprised that men are so less critical of our bodies than we are. So, do not wait until you lose those pounds to this day. You will lose the negative voices in the place, and go out there and start going out. Maybe you’ll find your last first date!

If you feel stuck on a date and relationships and you want to finally find true love, sign up for a free half-hour breakthrough meeting with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join your last first date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s book, To become a valuable woman; How to thrive in life and love.