In today’s video you will learn why you can not blame yourself from the past (even the last) for not meeting the threshold you set for yourself today.
If you’ve been wondering how to regain your confidence – the kind that can help you come to terms with your past decisions and also change what is possible for your future – then you can not miss this week’s discussion.
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Let this moment be a new input for real change in your life. . .
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“After ending a 10 year relationship in 2020 while things ended in a good relationship and I have no regrets, I try to come to terms with myself why I stayed three years longer than I should have. Matt, how do you get to that key security part again or at all after going through that kind of thing? Of a failed investment? ” Look, the thing you need to remember is that you did the best you could with who you were at the time and the information you had at that time and your stage of development where you are. This is one of the things we beat ourselves up at the end of the process. This process can be in a job we have been in for far too long, much longer than we should have. It could be with a family member that we dealt with his things for far too long and did not create the distance we needed to have at the time.
It could be in a relationship where we spent so much time with someone beyond the point where we saw the red flags, where we saw the writing on the wall, where we saw the ways they were going to hurt us, the ways that relationship was. Was not what we needed. It is very easy to look back and hit ourselves and since most of us are aware that life is short, we look at the time wasted and we hit ourselves for it. We do not beat ourselves up just for not acting. Beat ourselves up for all the wasted time and time we could have done something else. We all have different belief systems. My belief system is that at every step of the way we do what we always intended to do based on our level of development, what information we had at the time, what resources we had, what our parents taught us when we grew up, what our role is. Models were and were ours at the time, what someone told us, what were our fears, what was our level of confidence at the time, what books were we reading at the time.
Meng, maybe if you and I were encountering each other at the time, maybe you would have made a decision a year earlier, or six months earlier, or three years earlier, we would never know, but guess what? You can not beat yourself up about it because we do not. You and I did not meet then. We met today. So you can not beat yourself up for information you did not have or you can say, “But I have the information, Matt. I read your book before that. I followed your advice or I should have done it because I knew what it was and knew the red flags. “Because I already went through them with this guy. I knew what was going to go wrong. I saw everything. I had all the information.”
Okay, but then you were not ready. You were not ready. You have not been to a place in your life where you have gone through enough of these lessons or enough of this pain to change. So you have to say to yourself, “I’m going to show compassion for me from three years ago who did the best she could at the time. And her best is different from what’s my best today. I, Meng today, my best is different from her best.” Your best can be different, by the way, because you are now in this conversation and you have all these new acquaintances and your mind is making new connections. As a result, you’re evolving into a different person right now.
So you can not compare who you are today with who you were then. This is the newest. So do not blame the old that you can not do your best new. Be thankful that you have the new good and you can benefit from it now that some people are dying before they reach this moment. Some people never get there. are you still here. You’re still breathing. You know when people say, “If I only knew then what I know now,” I always think, the fact that you tell me that means you know it now. It means you’re still alive. That means you can still profit from it. now you know. So do not worry about then. You’re still breathing. I do not speak to a body that says, “If only I had known while I was still alive what I know today.” No, you know it today and you breathe now and you tell me that, which means you know it now, which means it can create a completely different life for you right now.
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I really like this concept because I spent a lot of time in my life, beating myself up over things I wish I had done differently. And the thing that gave me, I guess, self-forgiveness, a huge part of it was realizing that at the time I was really doing my best with the resources I had. What is exciting is that when we receive new input into our lives, we can suddenly open up completely new worlds in terms of what is possible. The fact that you are watching this video right now is a new input into your life, which is about to completely change what is possible for you. People often wonder, “Well, how do I stop myself from repeating past mistakes?” When we receive new information, new input, whether it’s in the form of advice, new mentor, new information, new skill sets, it’s the key not to repeat past mistakes because we become another person by what we input into our brain. I would love if it was not just this video that did it for you at this point in your life.
I would love if it would be something bigger. And I have something bigger soon. This month we are hosting mine Virtual retreat. If you do not know about it until now, I do not know where you have been. We talked about it non-stop. Those of you who have watched every video are probably tired of it. But here we are. If you do not know by now, mine Virtual retreat Approaching September 24-26 and registration closes on the 19th. This is a three-day in-depth program with me as your coach that guides you through the biggest challenges and opportunities in your life right now. So I tell you now as a final read, if you want to come and join us this month for a bigger journey with me, three days of immersion training for the rest of your life, your inner growth and your outer growth in reshaping your life to be what you want to be in every field, come join to us. Registration closes tomorrow. go to MHVirtualRetreat.com To learn more and see you there. I really hope you come. See you soon.