After the first encounters with someone new have gone well, you may start thinking about presenting your date to friends – or even start a couple or group dating. This can be quite daunting for everyone involved! You both want to make a good impression on your friends and get the ‘approval stamp’ valued in each round. I gave my husband a baptism of fire today after we met – the cast of the musical tour where I performed desperately wanted to meet him and surrounded him in the doorway at a very early stage of our relationship. For my introverted husband it was completely out of his comfort zone, but he knew how important it was to me. He totally embraced the event and succeeded! Meeting the people who are important to you will not always be so intense – thankfully! – But how can you make getting to know your partner friends or going on a double date as fun and relaxing as possible?
Understand their importance
If you’re the one presenting your date to friends, you already know what to expect! If you are introduced to your spouse’s friends then remember first of all that friends are important. They are a big part of your spouse’s life – just as they are yours. Some may have known them since childhood and helped create them for who they are. Try to respect and appreciate this and see the importance of your spouse’s friends.
If you are the new immigrant, you become very aware that these strangers know your new spouse better and longer than you, and probably know previous relationships they have had. They will want the best for your spouse and you want to live up to that expectation. Also, your friends know you well and know what is good for you.
Champion on your date
It is important that you be there to encourage, support and promote your spouse in this new situation. They need your undivided support during this vulnerable time. The feeling of battle or escape will be very present, so knowing that you love and support them there will increase your partner and bring some relief to the situation.
Do not isolate your spouse by leaving him or her to take care of themselves – they need to know that they have your support. This is also literal (do not stay away and leave them for an hour!) But also in conversations. If there are too many ‘jokes’ they can also feel isolated from the conversation. Try to include them at all times. If you’re on a date double, then remember you’re a team.
If you are doing an activity as a couple or group date, it is especially important – and a great opportunity to show how well you work together and support each other. Work as a team and prefer your partner.
Consistency is the key – and so is honesty
It is important for both of you to be consistent in your character when you are near your friends. Do not be in a relationship and then turn to single life when you are with friends. This will alienate your partner and make him feel unappreciated.
Relationships with friends will change when you enter into a serious relationship and your partner will become a priority. But that does not mean it’s getting worse, nor does it mean that you’ve longing for the ‘good old days’ of being single with your spouse. It could be that you have a richer and more mature relationship with your friends because they see your integrity in maintaining your spouse.
I hope you can develop mutual respect and affection with your spouse’s friends. It’s easy when you get along with them, but harder when it brings out a darker side to your partner. If mixing with their friends causes behavior in the spouse who employs you, be honest and talk about it. And be open to conversation if the spouse raises concerns of his or her own.
The chance to present your date to friends can feel stressful, but if you can – relax. It’s easier said than done, but a dense version of yourself never presents you at your best and chances are you will not encounter as good as you hoped. You will also enjoy more if you try to relax. It could be a reverse or break scenario so try to adopt it as one step closer to finding out more about your partner and deepening your relationship.
Find fun couple or group dating activities
Choose your activities wisely – bowling, mini golf, ping pong and anything that involves working as a team are all great connecting exercises. Here are some fun and weird dating ideas to keep in mind. These can bring a sense of ease and fraternity, and are a great way to make a good impression, even if you are not really good at the game … that’s how you deal with it! Get to know that friends are important to your partner so they should be important to you if you want to be a part of their life and vice versa.
Remember where your identity is
Take yours Identity in God And not in what other people think. Yes, you want to impress, but if you want to impress God more, then the fruitful spirit and divine nature will become the front. Trust Him – Pray for the inevitable situation of meeting friends or dating others. God can help bring peace and strength especially when you are really nervous and it is out of your comfort zone.
It is always wise to listen to all the red flag that friends have, but in the end if you believe God gives the opportunity and the relationship safe, you will be confident in your feelings as a couple too, even if your partner may be against the type. ‘… that’s a good thing sometimes! Go in for yourself and introduce your partner to friends – you should want to show them off and get excited to do so!
What helpful tips do you have to present your dating to friends?
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